Going South (but Not for the Winter)

We are now in Haikou, on the northern side of Hainan Province, off China's southern coast. It's very different from Beijing, as this city is visited mostly by Chinese nationals and virtually nothing here is in English. (If Sabrina from the agency were not traveling with us to help us handle everything and interpret for us, I think we'd manage to blunder our way into an international incident.) It's also known as a tourist mecca for said Chinese nationals, being filled with nightclubs and neon.

Our daughter was clearly concerned as we packed up this morning, probably wondering if we were about to go off and leave her behind. Of course, this was simply not happening. Jacquie was able to get some smiles out of her by playing ringtones on her cell phone, from "Spongebob" to the Hallelujah Chorus.

The flight from Beijing to Haikou was of course very different from an American flight - we've never flown on Southwest when the airline serves coconut milk and beef with rice. Xiao-Ling fell asleep in her mother's arms for an hour or two, then sat next to me for the remainder of the flight, devouring buns and most of my rice. We giggled as we ate lunch together, grinning at each other and rubbing our tummies.


Speaking of food, I think our daughter will be a chef, a chemist or both. At breakfast yesterday in Beijing, she had a merry time combining various liquids - water, milk, orange juice, soy sauce, you name it - into a glass and downing the lot. She also charmed the socks off everyone there, from other CHI families to the wait staff, whom she helped out by carting silverware and other table items over to them.

We find ourselves better connecting with Xiao-Ling almost continually. Our Chinese and her English are both virtually nonexistent, but we are able to get the point across by nonverbal cues, gestures, and so on. And in return, she tells us what she wants by context - for example, when she needs to use the bathroom and needs one of us to lift her onto the toilet.

This is not to say that we're totally linguistically at odds, as we've learned to recognize some Chinese phrases to determine what she is saying and her English is starting to come back. She's already told us the #1 kid word in America - "no."

Last night, we shared a meal at the hotel with Sabrina. Our young lady happily downed heaping quantities of noodle soup, papaya soup, beef with vegetables and warm coconut broth. She grandly declared "Xiao-Ling likes meat!" (We're not really sure just why she referred to herself in the third person, but we're not worried about it.) And it was kind of amusing for Jacquie and myself to receive silverware, even though we're both quite dexterous with chopsticks, while Sabrina and Xiao-Ling did not. Nevertheless, we demonstrated our talents ably, thereby possibly making ourselves a little less strange in our surroundings.

This morning, we will start the formal adoption process, which will take a couple of days. More to come!

What the Year of the Pig Brought

Last night an angel fell asleep in my arms. >>Sighhhhh<<

Yesterday was unbelievable. At 8:36am we met Sabrina in the lobby (and were warmly informed, "You are six minutes late," - so much for being a yekke). The drive to CHI's foster care center was no less than a tour of typical everyday Beijing. As scene after scene of an Amy Tan novel unfolded before our eyes, we saw sidewalk snack kiosks; hordes of commuters on bicycles; architecture from all epochs and dynasties (didn't matter to me which was authentic and which was refurbished). Our first stop was to purchase snacks for the kids for a party they were having to celebrate Xiao-Ling meeting her new family, and to commemorate her departure, which we knew would be bittersweet. With Sabrina's help we chose some sweet, some crunchy, some gooey - all of which turned out later to be messy (that was probably the idea in the first place). All the while we were being filmed by Sabrina and our driver.

Presently we came to a neighborhood where all the houses were painted a vibrant shade of clementine. As a few neighbors and three dogs somberly looked on, we emerged from the van with our hearts beating loudly. Carrying a huge packet of baby wipes for CHI and a stuffed pig and Donkey (the latter from Shrek) for our daughter we cautiously, mindfully entered the courtyard where we would meet our daughter for the first time in all our lives.

Mark spotted her first. As I followed his gaze, a pair of huge dark eyes peered over the top of the screen door window. It was all we could see of her but we recognized her immediately, even in the swarm of children and caregivcers (called "ayeh" or aunties) that surrounded her. As we sank to our knees and dropped our bundles to open our hands to her, I could hear my mother's voice cautioning me from our last conversation, "Be gentle. Let her come to you." Then we both said her name and, with the speed of an antelope the door opened and she came running into her father's arms with a great big smile caroling, "BaBA! BaBA! - (Daddy, Daddy!)"

After those first magical moments with the love of her life, she released him from her hug around his neck and turned to me. I murmured, "Wo shi ni de Mama" (I am your Mama) as she fell into my arms with a laughing cry of "Mama!" It was like hugging a sunbeam when the sunbeam can hug back. She is, as the song goes, "as graceful as a grouse" - and as strong as an ox. Then she hauled us to our feet (yes she did!) and beckoned us to come inside. She insisted on Mark carrying her and he happily complied.

Entering the house took forever because everyone was so excited to see us that the doorway was blocked with happy people, both big and little. Some of the wee ones had already run up to us to check out the snack provisions and we'd let them carry some of the loot inside for us (in this case, both host and guest thought they had the better end of the deal). Off came the shoes (no problem for this Tennessee hillbilly) and in we went. As we beheld the party decorations, Xiao-Ling directed our attention to the gold banners festooning the ceiling from wall to wall in every angle that crossed the room. She wanted to make sure we liked them, and we did.

Immediately a huge, low table of goodies was carried in by two or three ayehs. Someone else came in with an enormous cake box. None of the kids got in the least bit excited (that last sentence was a big fat lie). We were still in a daze as we sat on the floor behind our daughter's seat as she handed us cookies, clementines, and crackers. Other kids did the same. There is a huge element of hospitality in Asian greeting from cradle on up (btw we recalled that, when we were in the process of adopting Harry, we learned that the traditional Korean greeting, no matter what the relationship, actually means, "Have you eaten well today?"

So as we sat being royally served by enthusiastic two-to-five year olds, we feasted solely on the sight and sounds of children falling on a feast of sweets. Xiao-Ling finally handed me a wrapped sweet and asked, "Da puh te?" (Open this please?) With pleasure! Then she made the same request as she handed me a thimble-sized container of a gelatin snack. After I got the lid off, she grabbged my hand and deposited the contents square in the middle of my palm. Still grasping my hand she bent over it and slurped up the sweet stuff in one efficient, Hoover-esque galoop. This was even better than when the lorikeets ate nectar out of my hands at Butterfly World in Florida (no offense to Mark's grandparents intended)!

By this time a lot of American volunteers were trooping in for the festivities. With them came Melody Zhang, co-founder of CHI. Sabrina had already asked us if we would make a speech (which she would translate) for everyone present. She also asked if I would sing. The chattery room grew quiet as I serenaded with, "Getting to Know You," from the King and I. Then I asked whether the childrfen would sing. Immediately they launched into something with their aunties that had the tune of "Shalom Chaveirim." When Melody translated it for us, we knew its Mandarin text was identical to the Hebrew one.

Then our daughter began to sing all by herself. We were caught up in our own special paradise as she relaxed in my lap, gave her father one of those devastating smiles, and began to sing a folk song about "there is no love like Mama." She put every ounce of her soul into it. Since no one wears shoes inside, she also likes to bond physically by stepping all over our feet when she's maneuvering in or out of a lap. It doesn't hurt at all and feels like holding hands (only it's feet).

All of this went on for quite some time, followed by the tour of the facility that Mark mentioned earlier. What he didn't say was that a certain princess made him carry her everywhere we went, as she declared to everyone over and over that we were her parents ("Wuo de BaBa, Wuo de Mama!") The reason Xiao-Ling had to urge me to hurry up and get ready to leave was that I was being dressed by a couple of the babies. This is true - they had brought my sneakers (probably thought they were gunboats) and refused to let me put them on; no, they themselves had to untie them and put them on my feet themselves. Then after I tied them, they had to untie them for me so I couldn't go. Oh, my heart.

There were gifts galore - photo albums signed by (or on behalf of) every child and auntie; a soft fuzzy blanket from the volunteers; clothes of course...

When the aunties bade her an emotional farewell, she staunchly said, "I won't cry." Then she once again made her father carry her in triumph (like he objected!) as the entire entourage followed us to the van with a crooning processional chorus of "Hau hau Mei-Mei" (yes, yes, little sister). It was very difficult to see everyone crying as they waved goodbye. We promised that we would send pictures, emails, and lifelong correspondence. Xiao-Ling has a new family now, but so do we - and we will see to it that she never loses touch with them.

Update and Photos

Jacquie and Xiao-Ling are fast asleep, worn out by the emotions of the day. Our daughter pitched a small fit before falling asleep, insisting "wa hua-hua" ("I want to draw" - she's very artistic!) over and over again before eventually succumbing to the sandman's wiles. They've been sleeping now for almost five hours. On the one hand, we'd like to get her up to give her dinner and not completely wreck her schedule. But on the other hand, it's been a very big day, so we might as well let her sleep.

We're also pretty sure she fought sleeping so hard because she was grieving the loss of her friends from the foster care center. It's actually standard in adoptions; when Harry came home, he cried a lot for about two weeks before he made the adjustment. Xiao-Ling knew for some time she'd be going with us, and even gave goodbye hugs to all the other kids before we left, but grieving is still to be expected.

Many of the center's foreign volunteers came to the party and all of them gushed over how wonderful our daughter is. She actually had some anxiety when they all started to leave, worrying that we'd be leaving too. We hugged and kissed her and told her in no uncertain terms that we weren't going anywhere without her.

Now that I have a chance, here are some of the photos taken with our camera from this wonderful morning. (The whole thing was also filmed, and we will receive a DVD from the agency when it's ready.)

Xiao-Ling feeding her mom a chocolate-covered breadstick
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The perfect hostess, cutting the cake for everyone

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A mother and her wonderfully messy daughter
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Father and daughter, happy together
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Party time!

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A million-dollar smile
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Tomorrow, we head for Haikou, on the northern coast of Hainan Island, to adopt her formally. More to come!

Meeting Harry's Mei-Mei

We are now parents for the second time. We went to our agency's foster care center this morning and met Xiao-Ling, our daughter. She is with us now, looking at the photos on our camera and playing with her mom as I type this.

We took a van from our hotel to the center after breakfast. When we got there, we looked at the kids coming out to greet us - and then our daughter saw us from the doorway. Her eyes lit up, she ran over to us with a big grin and practically jumped into my arms as we fell to our knees. After she gave me a big hug, she turned to Jacquie and did the same, all the while jabbering in Chinese that her "mama" and "baba" were finally here. Like her mom and dad, she has been waiting for this day for a very long time.

We called Harry at his aunt and uncle's house and he delightedly exclaimed, "I can't believe you got my baby sister!" She said into the phone, "wo eye ni, guh-guh" ("I love you, big brother") and we could hear him melt halfway around the world. He can't wait for us to come home.

The center staff threw a party for the kids, all nine of them. By the time it was over, the kids were all smeared with cake and the room was gloriously messy. A good time was had by all. She led us upstairs to the room she shared with several other kids, although she refused to admit that her crib-like bed was hers.

It was, however, somewhat bittersweet - our hearts went out to all the kids there and we wanted to bring them all home. When we left after about three hours, Xiao-Ling was literally telling us to hurry up, she wanted to go with us right now. As I put our bags back together, adding in some photos and a kids' backpack given to her by the staff, one boy pointed at me and said "baba." He wanted to know why Xiao-Ling was able to get parents this day and he could not; my heart almost broke.

But now we are back in our hotel room. She was not pleased to see the roll away bed - like her brother, she would rather sleep in our bed than her own. We are talking with her and learning all about each other. We already know she's a neat freak, cleaning her face and tidying up at every opportunity. She's even done a pretty darn good job at brushing her teeth. (Are you reading this, Harry?)

We also know a few very important Chinese phrases, such as "wo ei leh" ("I'm hungry"), "wo kun le" ("I'm sleepy"), "wo yao niao-niao" ("I need to go to the bathroom") and "wo d'ye-d'ye" ("I can do it"). We're connecting almost moment by moment, but now it's time for a nap. More, including photos, to come.

Jet Lag and First Impressions

NASA controller #1: Is it AM or PM?
NASA controller #2: AM. Very, very AM.

From the movie Apollo 13

It's 12:40AM Saturday morning here in Beijing, and I can't sleep. We both crashed and slept hard for about 4-5 hours after we got to our room (so much for Shabbat services tonight!) and now I'm wide awake. I don't know whether it's jet lag - after all, my body still thinks it's 11:40AM Friday - or I'm too excited about finally meeting our daughter, or both.

In any event, Beijing is quite a place. It's very big, very crowded and very sprawled out. Once we got our passports stamped and got our bags, we met Sabrina from CHI as promised in front of the KFC and Starbucks. Yes, I know - we fly halfway around the world and we see the same things we do at home!



We have our bag packed for taking to the foster care center - paperwork, baby wipes (they're unavailable in China) for the center staff, and a couple of stuffed animals for our little one!

ni hAO? from Beijing

Well, we made it! Our guide and translator, Sabrina Zhou, met us after we got through customs. For all who have been following our blog, Mark's nightmare did not come true; there was only one Starbucks and only one KFC (though it sells something called Nine Lives juice; as cat lovers we definitely do NOT want more details on that one) and sure enough, Sabrina was waiting there with her sign. She spotted our buttons and identified us at once. We waited as one more family came through to join us.

Gene and Lisa are from Nashville, so I get to speak East Tennessee-ese with them. They've been through this before and have returned with their daughter Madison, who was born in Nanjing, to meet and bring home their new daughter, who is seven months old (also in Nanjing). Sabrina got us all into a van cab (like an Israeli sherut). So here we all are at the SAS Radisson.

Tomorrow morning we will meet Sabrina in the lobby at 8:30am and go directly to meet our daughter! Sabrina saw Xiao-Ling this week and reports that our daughter is thrilled with our pictures and cannot wait to meet us! Our little girl showed Sabrina the photo album we sent her and said, "This is my mommy and daddy!"

Well, we were just about to die right then and there. We didn't things could possibly get any more exciting until tomorrow, when Sabrina handed us the following written description of our little girl. Brace yourself:

About Long Xiao-Ling

Xiao-Ling is very smart and cute. She loves to tidy things up and is very careful about self sanitation. She loves music, watching TV, drawing pictures and playing toys by herself. When she is in [a] good mood, she is willing to perform singing songs for others.

She can count from 1 to 20 and she wants to do whatever is beyond her ability;p for example, dressing herself (doesn't know how to button), making bed, washing faces, brushing teeth. She is always ready to help younger ones.d

She understands things so well. We explained to her that for her own benefit, she needs to do exercises with her left limbs. She will use right hand to open left hand to practice.

She is easy-going too. She is open to volunteers and gets everyone's attention and love. We all love her very much. She needs physical therapy and practice for her left limbs.

At that point we were ready to defy gravity. Gene and Lisa understood. Lisa said, "Tomorrow you're gonna be tore up from the floor up!"

We already are.

At the Airport

Mark: Well, here we are at the Presidents Club at Newark Airport, blogging via a wireless Internet connection.

Jacquie: Where are all the presidents?

Mark: I think they're all wheeling and dealing on their laptops.

Jacquie (singing): I'm a-leavin' on a jet plane...

Mark (shooting her a very dirty look, and continuing in the same tune): Oh, please don't sing that song again!

Jacquie: Stay tuned!